I’m going on a bit of a hiatus, but I don’t know how long for. There will be no queue and no posts for a bit, so I’m sorry.
Enjoy your life guys :)
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
I wrote a fanfic tonight based on the song “Boston” by Augustana. First AU, so trying new things, but maybe you guys want to check it out?
“Everything is falling apart. I came here to get away, to just drink and forget and then some asshole—“
Maura looks up startled after she says “asshole”, and Jane has to catch her elbow so she doesn’t fall off the stool.
“I’m sorry, I’m not usually like this.”
“You don’t usually curse?”
“No, I don’t. I’m quite intoxicated,” Maura says, swaying a little in her seat and placing a finger on her mouth as if she’s thinking hard about something.
Jane bites her lip, trying hard not to smile, but she just looks so…adorable.
“Well, you don’t have to apologize to me—“
“Oh my god, I’ve had seven drinks!” Maura suddenly breaks in.
Jane raises her eyebrows, taking in the woman’s tiny frame. Depending on what the drink was, that’s quite a bit of alcohol.
“Seven of what?”
Maura scrunches her nose thinking. “A few shots of vodka, then I thought I’d try some tequila shots. Then I switched to margaritas, because I never have those. I figured I should celebrate my shitty life going to crap since there doesn’t seem to be any way I can change it despite how much I try.”
It is quite a long ramble, and Jane doesn’t know what to say.
“Oh, my friend, you are a little wasted. Understandably.”
Maura nods fervently, eyes closed. Jane tries not to laugh, it’s not a funny situation, it’s just that this woman is so cute and doesn’t seem to know it.
“Do you feel better?”
“Hurt less. Everything still sort of sucks though.”
Jane nods her head, understanding. She is quite tipsy herself, and has been thinking increasingly less about her exclusion, but it still bothers her. The problem is still there.
Eyeing all of the alcohol, and then looking back at the honey-blonde woman who is now leaning sharply to the left like she’s going to far off the bar stool, Jane makes a decision. No more alcohol for the night.
She catches the woman, by the arm, sits her up straight, holds her by the shoulders.
Maura’s eyes open lazily. “No more alcohol for tonight, okay? Let’s go get some coffee?”
Maura just nods, and as she teeters in her obscenely high heels, she gratefully takes the arm that Jane holds out to her.
Attraction level: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10
Love for the Character:1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10
How much the char has grown on me: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10
How upset I’d be if the char got killed off:1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10
Hi guys, i don’t usually like to ask for help but now i really need yours. Around 2 weeks ago i got a dog, the baby you see here. One morning, my dad was driving to work, and he had to drive thorough a very isolated place, on a hill, with no houses around. Long story short, he saw at the side of the street a puppy, completely wet and cold from the snow, skinny and scared. He is about 3 or 4 months old and could never get there on his own, that’s when my dad realized that some asshole left him there on purpose, prolly to make him die. Of course my dad could have never leave that precious baby there, and when i came back home that night i found in my garage this little creature crying, that only wanted to be cuddled, you could really see how he wanted to feel safe. That night he was too dirty to sleep indoors, and i couldn’t wash him yet, so i slept on the garage floor with him. In the next days i started noticing how he didn’t “like” to move his head too much, many times he kind of cried when we petted him, and he just wasn’t as energetic as a puppy should be, he didn’t do things such as jumping too much or so. But i believed it was because he just got in a completely new ambient, with new people. I thought he just wasn’t that confident yet. I of course went to the veterinarian and she didn’t even notice, she told me he was healthy, he just needed to gain some weight. I asked her if the fact the he kept his head lowed down, and that sometimes looked suffering while petted, was normal, and she said that it was probably because he was new to the family and still scared, she also kind of made fun of me, for worrying too much.
I tried to cool down, went back home and tried to convince myself that it was all normal. But in the next days things didn’t seem to get better, but got worst. As he gained confidence he also gained the force to show us his suffering. I choose to bring him to another veterinarian, and this time he noticed that something was actually wrong and he told me that he had to keep him in the clinic until the next day since he had to submit him to some tests. And the day after, he told me he had the intervertebral disc disease. Probably the other vet didn’t even consider it because it’s more common in older dogs. But here comes the problem guys and here’s where you can really make the difference between life and death of my little boy. The surgical operation cost is more than 3000$. I don’t have a job, and i don’t have this amount of money, my parents don’t even take consideration to spend so much for a dog that we have from less than two weeks. The only other choice is the euthanasia. Please, i don’t want this to happen. I feel completely harmless faced with this situation. I don’t know what to do so i thought about you.
I saw posts where for many reasons people where asking for help going around tumblr, many times i tried to help for what i could, that’s why i hope you guys will do the same, if you can’t give anything, please reblog anyway, hopefully someone else will see it, and maybe help.
Click here, to help me and my baby
Believe me when i say that anything will help, please spread around.
Thank you, always love you
By now i am at $2020! yeeaaah just 1000 to goo